Ego vs Self: stand-off

I’m on the hill this morning and sporting a sexy new head torch. Unfortunately it says ‘head torch’ in comic sans in massive lettering along the band. Luckily, it’s an accessory made for the dark.

Nature smells amazing this morning.

It rained last night and now the water is evaporating in the warmer, early morning air lifting with it molecules from the grass, trees, plants, and soil combining their scents as they float up high into the sky.

I’m grateful for the calming effect it has on me.

I’m wrestling with an uncomfortable feeling this morning.

It’s one of those tricky thought processes I’m not well equipped to think through.

When I try, my brain instead shuts down and I catch myself a few seconds later staring into space.

It feels like some kind of stand-off between my Ego and my Self.

I can see a clear and present path which leads to growth, but the fear of uncertainty has stopped me in my tracks.

While I am standing still…

[At this point my pen ran out of ink. A frustrating place to pause.]

The thought I was trying to transcribe was that while I might be standing still, it can’t last because I’m bound by time, something which doesn’t have the luxury of stopping in its tracks.

I’m choosing to view my pen running out as a sign from the universe. A guide signalling for me to stop writing, standing still, and to take action.