The final passage of my first journal

I’ve arrived at the last two pages of my first ever journal.

It feels like a momentous occasion. A genuine achievement.

Every word written on these pages has been a step forward on my journey of self-discovery.

I’ve learnt so much and had so many experiences during this short time spent writing.

It makes me wonder where I’ll be if I continue to write for a year, or perhaps even longer.

I don’t ever intend to stop.

Journalling has been my greatest discovery.

I’m back at my spot on Troopers Hill this morning.

I’m writing by torch light because it’s still dark.

The stars were shining beautifully bright earlier, but now the sky has started its transformation.

There’s a deep orange strip starting to form over the eastern edge of the horizon.

Someone has left a bouquet of flowers tucked between the slats of the bench I’m sitting on.

The same bench I always sit on.

Perhaps, they’ve been left in memory of someone else who once sat here gazing at the wonder of the world around them, while reflecting on the wonder of their Self.

I like to think that our energy is connected and through me, each morning they can once again spend time sitting here on this bench, just like they used to.

I want to finish the final page of this journal by reflecting on how far I’ve come.

I acknowledge my past and I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learnt.

My struggle in adulthood with alcohol addiction and drugs. I was lost and in pain, unable to see a way out.

Before that, I was a teenager, confused, angry and vulnerable.

Before that I was a child trying to make sense of the world while experiencing the trauma of a parent suffering with addiction and depression.

Before that, I was a baby, loved unconditionally.

Before that I was a happy idea conceived first in the mind of my parents.

Before that I was a series of cells, atoms and molecules hitching a ride on a multitude of life forms.

Before that I was stardust, part of an infinite universal energy.

And, before that, who knows…

Throughout all of my many stages of existence I have been intrinsically connected to this moment here on the hill.

This moment was as inevitable as the sunrise.

I have reconnected with my distant past as a creature of the universe and now armed with the tools and skills I’ve acquired through the words on these pages, I can continue on my journey of self-discovery, authentically and purposefully.

No longer just ‘me’, but as my Self and as the universal Self of which everyone and everything is connected.